"I Suck Dicks With My Butthole" Tee

Technically accurate.

Cut-and-paste ransom-note lettering spells out what most people save for the third date, so you can skip the small talk. Wear it to Pride, the after-party, or the grocery store when you want the cashier to have a story tonight.

No follow-up questions. Or several. Your call.

• Material: Lightweight cotton
• Fit: Classic retail fit. Size up for a relaxed, oversized look.
• Care: Machine wash cold inside out with like colors. Tumble dry low.

Sizing Chart (XS to 5XL)

Measured flat, in inches: width across the chest from armhole to armhole, and length from top to bottom.